No Way
by Spoot Poot
Summary: Who would have guessed Duo was hiding something. Keeping a bog secret! Read to find out!


Spoot: Hope I get to load this soon!

Duo: Where are my keys?

Spoot: What good are keys when you're tied to a chair?

Duo: Worth a try.

No Way.

Duo looked on at everyone sitting around the table. They were eating almost in silence, and the boy almost felt bad for what he was about to do. You see, he was feeling that all too familiar feeling in his lower belly, a rumble…  
He eyed every comrade, Quatre eating like a bird. Picking at his meal with a keen eye. He didn't like meat, and the spaghetti Duo had prepared had chunks of hamburger in it. Heero was reading over a mission report as he slowly put food in his mouth, missing every now and then, due to the fact that he wasn't looking at what he was doing. Wufei ate with his eyes closed, as if he were actually meditating while he did it. He ate slow, and with all the manners of a proper kingsmen. Trowa held his plate in his lap, and every now and again would put something in his mouth, watching everyone at the table. He was a nervous eater, causing frequent stomach issues including vomiting.

Duo had to keep that in mind. If he did what he so desperately needed to do, he might startle Trowa, causing him to vomit, in turn, making Wufei throw a fit, which would interrupt Heero, and cause him to become upset…all this would cause Quatre to have a famous heart attack. Duo sighed, and stood up. Everyone looked up at him. "Be right back…" He said softly, and then quickly rushed from the room. The other boys looked at each other for a split second, then back to what they were doing. In a matter of seconds, Duo was back, sitting in his spot.

Once again he was being looked upon. "I had to blow my nose." He said. Heero was all ready to poke holes in his story, when Duo put a hand up. "And that's _it!_" He said through his teeth, warning Heero, that he may be starting something he did not want to finish. So, with that, Heero sat back in his seat, and picked up some papers, eyed Duo one more time, then went back to his work. Duo just let out a sigh of relief and began to eat again. Lucky he had gotten away with it…once more.

Wufei watched as Duo stood and excused himself. The long haired boy went right into the bathroom. "Have you noticed, as long as we've known Duo…" Wufei began, but Heero put a hand up. "I don't wanna know…" Wufei sat up from leaning over the other boy. "Has anyone here ever heard that baka pass gas?" He blurted out. Heero rolled his eyes and let out a sigh. "I said I didn't wanna know…Geez…" He grumbled and huffed and puffed as he gathered his things to leave the area. Duo returned from the bathroom. "Well, that didn't take long." Wufei said slyly. Duo just smiled, and took his place next to the Asian boy. "Where you goin' Heero?" He asked, watching the said boy gather his things. "I'm in no mood to sit in here anymore." He said flatly. "Why? Is it because of us?" He asked pointing to Wufei. Heero sighed. "No, you're affections with one another no longer bothers me, I'm used to it by now."

"Well good!" Duo cooed, throwing his arms around Wufei. Heero finally got his stuff together and stood up. "Good luck." He said to Wufei, only. With that he left the room. Duo removed himself from a very sheepish looking boyfriend. "What did he mean by that?" Wufei looked him in the eyes. "Hm? Huh? What? I have no idea what you're talking about…" with that being said, he pinned Duo down and began to kiss him hard.

Duo finally got free, and shoved the other boy. "No…no amount of loven' is gunna distract me! What did Heero mean by, 'Good Luck'?" Wufei sat up, looking positively guilty. "I…don't…know?" Duo crooked his head a bit, and then his eyes went wide. He clasped his hands together, and his eyes sparkled. "SQUEEEE! YES! I'LL MARRY YOU!" He hollered. Wufei about shit a brick. Even going as far as to make a weird quaking noise. "What! NO! I mean…no…" Duo lowered himself from floating away, he looked sad and disappointed. Wufei took his hand, and pat it. "Not saying never, just not now." Duo smiled, "Awww. Wufei…I love you so." He said softly, and went in for a hug. "Yeah, I love you too." Wufei said, hugging his lover back.

The embrace did not last long at all…Wufei ruined it. "Why have you never passed gas in front of me?" Duo pulled away so fast he almost knocked Wufei off the sofa. "Wha!" He squeaked. "I never…have. I mean…I have…you just…" Wufei looked in deep thought. "Come to think of it, I seriously doubt you have ever done it in front of anyone…have you!" He snapped turning to his flustered lover. Duo lowered his head. "Nope…never have… you caught me. I mean, it started innocently enough, wasn't gunna just fart at the tabled, or when we were working…" He looked up with a guilty smile on his face. "But now…after all these years of not so much as a little _toot_ in front of anyone, I can't bring myself to do it at all…especially in front of you…now that we're…y'know…" He made a very dirty and erotic gesture. Wufei slapped at him, and giggled a bit, ending their conversation with a giggle filled kiss.

"So, you just think no one knows. Like, everyone thinks you just don't pass gas or something?" Duo looked over at his lover from his book. The two were lying in bed. He was sure the conversation had ended a few hours back, but here they were, back on the subject thanks to a very nosy Wufei. He shrugged, and closed his book, keeping a finger in the pages. "I was kinda hoping for that…" Wufei smiled. "Everyone does it Duo, even me." Duo dog-eared his page and put his book down. I've never heard it." He said coyly. Wufei closed his eyes and bit his lip. "What are you doing…Wufei!" The said Asian let out a light toot that vibrated the bed. "There, now you have, your turn!" Duo began to laugh hard. "OH…MY GOD! Wufei! I can't believe you just did that!" he hollered out, waving a hand back and forth in front of his nose. "Yep, and now it's your turn." Duo coughed a bit to stop from laughing. "What! Now! No! I'm not…I can't, I don't have one." He said, grabbing up his book.

Wufei put a hand on that book, and lowered it. "Duo, come on. I don't want to be one of those couples. The kind that never pee or poo in front of each other."

"But we don't do any of that stuff. Look, you've seen me lose my lunch a few times…"

"Yeah."

"Like that time I caught that weird flu while we were on L-4."

"Yeah…but, you know, I want some kind of new…like a first." Wufei said softly, rubbing his lover's strong chest. Duo took his hand, and pulled him close. "You were my first, cant that be good enough, I mean; I wanna leave some kind of mystery in the relationship." Wufei smiled sweetly, and rested his head on that strong chest. "I guess, if that's what you want…I just think mystery may not be such a good thing…if you really love someone…there should be no secrets." Duo sighed, and placed a hand on his lovers head, stoking his hair. "Some may agree with you…that's why I love you." Wufei took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. It was quiet for a moment. Wufei could feel his lover's chest moving up and down in rhythm with his breathing. It was almost hypnotic. The day had begun to catch up with him. He could feel himself drifting off into sleep. The moment was cut short when Duo chuckled a bit, making the other boy look up at him. He looked into his lover's eyes. They were sparkling with amusement. "What's so funny?" He asked. Duo smiled wickedly. "Oh, you'll find out…"

Spoot: HAHA!

Duo: I fart all the time! *Farts*

Spoot -_-;


End file.
